Today, I would like to discuss a very important topic…me!! This may seem quite self-absorbed, but by this I do not mean that I will spend this whole post discussing various aspects of my personal life, but rather the “me” each and everyone of us possesses, and is aware of to some degree or another. Indeed, we are all ourselves (very few people would try to argue against that point), yet not everyone of us knows their own self very well, perhaps because they never thought of exploring themselves, or most likely, since they are afraid of what they may find once they start digging within themselves. This happens because we spend years and years shovelling darkness, doubts, and dislikes over our golden core, making it ever harder to get to know the person we are deep down inside. If we let it accumulate, the task becomes ever bigger, maybe even getting to a point where we find it insurmountable, which only leads to more despair, so we simply push it under the carpet and hope we can forget about it. Which couldn’t possibly be a good idea, since it is physically, psychologically, mentally, emotionally impossible to run away from oneself for ever. We might keep repressing it, covering it up with drugs, distractions, work, friends, or any other escape we may find, but in the end, we will still wake up with ourselves no matter what route we choose. Yet, this begs the following question: Why do we even do this to ourselves??
The answer to that is that the path to self-discovery is a harsh one, filled with pain, emotional distress, loneliness, and insecurities. Getting to know oneself is not all about finding all the parts of ourselves we like (though it still plays a key role), but also of facing all the demons we would rather avoid. The darkness within us is an intrinsic part of what the “self” is, because no single human being, rather no single living being, or even nothing that ever existed and ever will, has the quality of being perfect, so might as well learn to embrace the imperfections, because they are a part of who we are just like all the good aspects of ourselves are. So it would seem that no matter the amount of shit we pilled over our golden core (a.k.a. the self), the path of self-awareness begins with the acceptance that we cannot, nor ever will be, perfect. Who wants to be perfect anyways?? Perfection seems rather boring to me, since it would mean that we do not have any means of improving anymore…but enough of this discussion of perfection, perhaps it shall be developed another time. Once again, this leads to the following question: What is the point of going through this arduous path, and “getting to know” ourselves, if all it’ll bring is pain and misery??
Well, the answer is that it will do way more than that. The whole idea behind self-awareness is that it is about more than just getting rid of the dirt, and discovering our good and bad sides, but also about how we act in our everyday life. Knowing what our limits are, what we actually like/dislike, what we are ready to do or not, what our values are, and why we have certain thought patterns will help us interact with the rest of the world. Indeed, by knowing myself better, I can love myself more, which leads me to be able to love others for their own sake, thus allowing me to get to know others on a deeper level than simply what they do with their time, what music they like, and what their favourite colour is. Knowing ourselves truly makes it possible to connect with others on this deeper level, and hence really getting to know who their “self” is. Why would this matter, you may ask?? Because once you can know people on that more profound level, the words they use will only seem superficial, which will prevent them being able to fool us about what kind of person they actually are. By knowing ourselves better, we will be able to know others better, therefore making it easier for us to decide who we should keep in our hearts, and who will only bring us down or inject unwanted negativity within our lives. Getting to know oneself allows us to be at peace with ourselves, getting closer to others in the process, and making us realize what truly matters to us. And this to me, seems like a big component of this happiness we all try to achieve.
Until next time,