It is interesting to notice that we can see quite the correlation between the roles our genitals play during sexual intercourse, and the gender stereotypes associated with the holders of those genitals. Which one came first is hard to determine, because I am not personally familiar with the mating habits of our oldest ancestors, or the power plays happening between the various genders of cavewo-/man. So without further ado, let us begin with the penis.
The function of a penis is quite straightforward, and even starts with the same three letters as penis, namely penetrate. The role of a penis during sexual intercourse is to enter a certain orifice (most commonly the vagina, but others may be used as well), which can also be seen as imposing its presence in foreign territory. This imposition can be directly linked with the role that men usually have to endorse, i.e. to take control of the situation, be strong-willed, and not afraid to “impose” their desire onto the more passive women. I put impose in quotation marks because it is actually too strong a word for what I mean, since it SHOULD NEVER BE IMPOSED, but rather welcomed inside the orifice. Yet, it nonetheless remains that the penis plays around in somebody else’s business. Men are supposed to do the same, picking up women for their own pleasure, because if you don’t get it in, then you’re not a real man. Which is completely false and outdated, for masculinity has nothing to do with shoving your dick into someone, but perhaps about how one acts, and even then…though this is a discussion for another time. Also, when it comes to the orgasm, just as when it comes to the process before intercourse, when it comes to men, it is all about the ending. Yes, intercourse itself will be pleasurable, but the biggest high comes from the ejaculation, not the process itself.
To continue with the vagina, its role is the complete opposite of the penis’, i.e. to receive something foreign or external into it. Which is also why women are supposed to be more passive, almost begging for the dominance of the male to enter them, so that they don’t feel empty. The stereotypes associated most frequently with women is especially that, that they should passively wait for a man to choose them, and to let him stick his penis into her, after having bought her enough drinks that is. Does that not sound a little strange to you, that the women are receiving something inside of them, but that they should not be the ones going after what they want inside?? Well it does to me, and is obviously still an issue, with the always horrific number of rapes done to women. The woman gets penetrated physically, thus, she should also be penetrated psychologically, by the stronger male will. When it comes to the orgasm though, it is the exact opposite of the man’s, because a woman will feel ever-increasing pleasure throughout the act, and can be satisfied even without orgasm, which is definitely not the case for men.
Furthermore, women have an added member to increase their pleasure during sexual intercourse, which is called the clitoris, and stands apart from the whole penetration act. It is so because the clitoris stays at the border, not entering into anything, nor getting entered, and is also the key to the immense pleasure women can receive during sex. Perhaps it was added there by mother nature to make up for the pains of childbirth?? Or perhaps it is simply there to show women which men actually care or not, for if a man does not play with the clitoris, and only focuses on the penetration, the whole act might not be as pleasurable for her, since he may not show an actual desire to please her.
Yes, this is all based on stereotypes (which HAVE to be changed), and has only been a quick overview of the topic which deserves a more profound analyses than I have done here, but this will have to do for now. So, boys and girls, no matter what genitals you possess, you do not have to abide by any predetermined role, so just be yourself, respect the person with whom you’re having sex, and most of all, make sure both (or more…) parties have fun!!
Until next time,