Depths of Interactions….

Hello 🙂

Every time we meet someone new, it is a completely novel experience, for every person is different. Yet, despite the words being so disparate, there is still a certain depth which can be attribute to every conversation. What is meant by depth involves a few factors, such as ease of interaction, body language, topic(s) of discussion, and so on. It is interesting to observe that even though they evolve over time, whether willingly or not, conversations with certain people will remain at a certain depth forever, while others will skip what could be seen as the progressive steps of a relationship leading to deeper interactions.

The most famous of the various kinds of interactions is small talk. We are all very familiar with it, and perform it daily, maybe out of social necessity, or maybe because it is the easiest way to slightly interact with another. Small talk always remains superficial, and seems to be more dictated by societal norms of how the question and answer process has to go along. They usually start with the traditional “Hey, you!”, followed by greeting from the other person, which then asks how the first person is doing. The most frequent answer is then “good, how about you?” or any variations, and the good will be repeated by the first person again. Even if they were lying about actually feeling well, it is of no importance, because neither of them actually cares that much, and would usually prefer not to be bothered by a rant or some complaining. After this, the conversation will either break up, and keep going, but feeling forced from both sides. Occasionally, small talk will evolve to become more personal, but only if both individuals put the effort into it.

On the opposite side of the spectrum, there is a very rare instance of interaction which does not follow the progression of depth, because right from the beginning it is already very personal and familiar. There are always some people which we may meet and with whom conversations comes like a second nature, where the looks, the touches, the words, all of it feels like it has happened before, like we had known this person forever. This is a terribly interesting subject of exploration, for we can never be sure exactly of why it happens this way. Perhaps our souls knew each other in another life, perhaps we share certain similarities with the other person, or perhaps it is simply a coincidence. Yet even when facing the unknown, this depth of interaction is the most profound, for it transcends words, and reaches right to the inner core of both participants. Since we have no power over its occurrence, all we can do is bask in it while it happens, and enjoy the trip within ourselves, through the other.

Until next time,

Luca

 

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Hugs are the best…

Hello 🙂

Hugs are the best. Plain and simple. That’s not only because they’re truly amazing, that they feel nice, and that they’re comforting, but simply because they allow us to be truly ourselves with another person. And I’m not talking about greeting hugs that last only a few seconds, but long held tight hugs, the ones that last up to a few minutes, where all that is done by the two huggers is squeezing and back rubbing.

Indeed, this marvellous experience allows us to drop all the masks one can imagine, because there’s nothing else, no words, no looks, only the feeling, so it is hard to pretend to be someone else while hugging another person. Furthermore, longer hugs release Oxytocin in one’s brain (1), which is one of the chemicals associated with social bonding and deeper connections, which is why one of the nicknames for oxytocin is the cuddle hormone, amongst others, since it also has a variety of other effects.

The benefits from hugging do not only come when being done with a person close to us, but can also be activated with a total stranger, since it does not matter who the other person is, energy will still circulate between the two hugging entities. All this to say that “one hug a day, keeps loneliness away”, at least for as long as the oxytocin high lasts. Big hug to all of you!!

Until next time,

Luca

1. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/27/health-benefits-of-huggin_n_5008616.html

At least you tried…

Hello 🙂

          There has always been this ineffable divide between thinking about doing something, and actually doing it. Considering a certain action is easy, because all it requires is to think about it, imagine the possible outcomes, and hope things work out that way. Yet this does not allow the action itself to be actualized, for it is only reflected upon, and thus still remains within the confines of our minds. The separation occurring between the thought and the action is not an simple one to overcome, since they have to do with two completely different realms, the first being the comfort of our own imagination, while the latter happens in the real world, and has usually to do with others.
          As usual, the moment other individuals are taken into consideration, there will be a part of unknowable mystery surrounding the action, for we are forever cut off from the thoughts of those other people. This makes it slightly difficult to interpret their intentions and desires, and especially the way we should act (or not) towards them. A clear example of this complication is possible romantic or sexual interest. How can one know whether or not another person is interested in them or if they are being creeped out by your show of interest?? Body language goes a long way to help evaluate the situation, and so does the spoken language, but one can never actually figure it out without trying (to be understood as asking in this case).
          This may, of course, lead to the possibility of trying too much, which may then lead to awkward and uncomfortable feelings, and even to rejection, which may be hurtful, but will inevitably happen at some point. The secret simply seems to be to try anyways, and actually do the action instead of simply thinking about it. Acting on one’s desires removes this unknown, and prevents the over-thinking of the mind, which always leads to doubt. The same applies to other areas of one’s life, and not just the romantic or sexual aspects of interpersonal relationships. The gap between thinking and doing can solely be crossed by trying, for only then can we make the unknown known.
 Even though you never know
Just take a chance and let it flow
Until next time,
Luca

Bon Apétit…

Hello 🙂

There is a very famous saying that goes as follows: We are what we eat. This saying couldn’t be any closer to the truth, even though it is often (jokingly) associated with us being pigs, cows, or chicken if we eat meat. Or that we should convert to cannibalism in order to remain human. Obviously none of these options are actually being applied to our realities, nor are they literally accurate, but behind every joke remains some truth. The truth in this case is exactly that, we become what we eat, not over night, be through the endless regeneration of the vast majority of the cells within our bodies.

This post does not seek to push any kind of specific diet on anyone, since it is up to each and every person to decide what they put into their bodies, so there won’t be spark lit in the explosive room of veganism, vegetarianism, omnivorism, or the aforementioned cannibalism. What will be brought to light though is that our body takes in everything we put in our mouths and swallow, absorbing what it can or need, and evacuating the rest. But that is common knowledge. What this also means is that the building blocks our bodies get in order to renew the dying cells within ourselves come from whatever source enters our bodies, whether it be sunlight (sun-gazing anyone?), an apple, or a bag of chips. Those nutritious (or not so much) aliment are what the building blocks are made out off, so in a way, if one were to eat only pizza for a long enough time, one would be build out of pizza nutriments exclusively, so you better make sure you get different kinds, and not always pepperoni-mushroom.

This absorption makes sense, and so we can leave the physical level at that. Where things get a little more interesting is when you look at the meat you eat, because it is composed of living cells which store more than what is perceptible to the eye. Just as our body gets scarred physically, so are our emotions registered in the physical part of ourselves, and there is no reason why it would be any different for animals. This becomes relevant when we look at the current meat-production industry, and the quality of life that those animals have. This life is usually filled with pain, disease, sadness, fear, and enormous quantities of stress, which means that all those negative emotions are also registered within their muscles, organs, and fat, i.e. the parts which we enjoy consuming. So we are not only eating the physical meat from the animal in question, but also taking in all the emotions that it has lived beforehand, whether negative or positive, and those emotions could have an impact on us (always depending on one’s sensibility to such phenomena, of course)…and the same goes for the plants we eat too, since it is believed they are sentient as well!!

Last but not least, the intention we have while eating might also be a contributing factor of the benefices we get from what we are ingesting, so it may be interesting to look at the reasons why we want to eat a certain food (chips and junk food vs fruits and the like), whether it be for escape (junk food makes you feel “happy”), nutrition, or tasty pleasure. That is for everyone to see for themselves though, since we are the masters of whatever we may put in our mouths. So I will leave it at this and go get a snack.

Until next time,
Luca

As the Clock Strikes Midnight…

Hello 🙂

Time flies, sometimes faster than we could imagine, and sometimes it just seems to drag on forever, so slow we feel we could stop every ticking second. Yet, whether time itself changes or not may require more elaboration and advanced knowledge which I do not possess, so for the time being, let us simply stick with the idea that our perceptions influence our relationship to this endless flow. One of those overarching cultural perceptions is the idea of a New Year, which has been associated with a new beginning, an opportunity to reinvent and improve ourselves, casting last year’s skin aside to embody the ideals we so desire for ourselves. Though the idea of re-creating ourselves is a good one, one must not necessarily wait for a socially constructed date of renewal to do so, for every day gives us an opportunity to start anew. In order to do so, here are seven little sparkles to help light the way:

1. Always look dashing: “Never judge a book by its cover” is a worthy saying, since all forms of judgments and preconceptions may lead to falsity and deception, though it nonetheless remains that our clothing is the first external layer we have to express ourselves, before we even open our mouths. This means that you can choose who you want to be, simply by dressing like the image your are trying to attain, the person you decide to be, and dressing the part helps a lot to embody the character. If you’re uncertain about what to wear by fear of others, this may perhaps help a bit.

2. Creation out of nothing: The best way to create something new is very often to start from scratch, since a blank sleigh leaves our imagination unbiased and free of the influence from which we might be trying to free ourselves. Especially when it comes to building ourselves up as individual people, there are so many external influences (media, surrounding culture, friends, family, etc.) that it easily gets confusing to select what comes from us, and what does not. Which is why the emptiness helps at times, to remove our focus from everything around us, and look within, to what truly makes us tick.

3. Focus on one leads the other: It is hard to multitask, despite the ever-increasing pace at which our modern society operates, so we can easily get dragged into an fast-paced circus which never seems to calm down, pulling us in one direction, then another, and then offering a third choice, which may even imply a fourth option, and so we work on the third one, think about the second, while all we actually care about is the thing we started off at first. The secret is to stay focused on one aspect at a time, because for all we know, everything behind it may fall into place from that one push. And if it doesn’t?? Then once one thing is done, we can simply let go of it, and move on to the next task.

4. Let go, so that it can come back: Ahh, the oh-so-common letting go. It refers to the attachment we keep to things we could have change, but in the end did not, or even the mistakes we wish we could take back. But things happen…choices are made…and the funny thing about time as we know it is that we cannot go back. So why drag along worries and regrets, slowing us down in the present?? Because letting go is hard, despite its necessity. If we look at a relationship for example, if one partner wants to go on a trip alone, but the other one fears the separation for lack of trust and insecurity, how could this confidence ever grow into a powerful trust, if it hasn’t even been given a chance?? Yes, the unknown is a scary thing…though it is even scarier to sacrifice a future for a past that cannot be changed. Having a little faith goes a long way, for we may never know what surprised to future holds if we take but a tiny chance.

5. Give back what was given to you: Being selfish benefits no one. Giving back simply means recognizing the gesture one has done and I believe there is no better way to appreciate such a gesture than to keep spreading the feelings it has brought us. If it takes but one flame to light a hundred candles, imagine what a hundred flames could do!!

6. Amidst the sounds, find your beat: Just like in most musical compositions, there are very often multiple layers of sound playing at the same time, all harmoniously put together, despite their differences. This gives us the opportunity to choose which beat we want to follow, so there is no reason to follow others, unless we consciously choose to do so. We are free to do anything we please, to follow whichever rhythm we like, and the fear that freedom because of its responsibilities is like refusing to eat because it is too hot. All it takes is a few breaths, a little patience, and an eagerness to try, and suddenly the world opens up as a delicious all-you-can-eat buffet in which the hardest choice to make is where to begin. Bon Apétit!

7. Follow the emptiness: Making choices is not an easy task, and sometimes we get lost within our own little mental world, thinking, planning, and organizing moments that have not yet happened, and which never end up the way we think. Sometimes it is even as if we are not in control of what is happening, that a path has simply opened up in front of us, and all we can do is follow it, from fear of the pressure if we might diverge. The emptiness is denser than we might think, so it is important to remain open and to let life flow through us, for resistance against this incredible phenomenon may simply lead to our tearing and destruction. Have faith in the path developing in front of you, and if you feel you are going down a bad road, simply chose another layer whose beat suits you better.

So this is it for now, the rest is all up to you. We are not confined to social constructs, we are ourselves first and foremost, living this deeply personal experience of being alive, giving us the choice about the life we want to experience. We can re-create ourselves at any given moment, so why wait for a specific moment to adhere to resolutions we do not truly believe in?? For if we did really want it, then there is no need to wait a moment longer.

Until next time,
Luca