Act of Presence

When diluting the crust around the teachings on transformation that are transmitted to us, we get to a core which can be easily remembered and applied: presence.

Presence is nothing more than the state of existing, so really anything can be present. We are present in the physical world through our bodies, we are present to the thoughts we have, and the glass of water is present on the table. In the context of self-transformation, being with [a feeling, a person, an idea, etc] comes down to being aware of the existence of whatever it is we are present with.

This awareness can have multiple layers and depths, for example, being present with a person. I can be physically present by sitting next to that person, I can be present to what she is trying to communicate by listening to them, and I can be present to the way they feel by sensing my own body.

Through the contagious nature of our emotions and inner states, simply being in the presence of another person and being open to what they emit allows us to tune into their vibrations leading our bodies to imitate their feelings. Through this, we can then simply check into our own bodies to have an idea of what they’re feeling. We reflect one another, so the same goes for them as well.

Pushing this one step further inwards, we can also be present to our own patterns and sensual flow, meaning that we can be aware to the way our thoughts develop, as well as the way the sensations within our body change. The truth is we are always aware of both of those aspects of our being at all times, the nuance comes from the subtlety to which we tune in, which allows a certain depth to be reached. Through this depth we can explore our core mechanisms and how they may affect us in our daily lives. This gives us the possibility to then transform the parts of us which don’t support our state or our wishes, opening up space for a new emergence.

The easiest way to transform is simply by doing nothing. Bringing the awareness and offering a moment of presence to what is within us allows that part to be acknowledged and thus brought closer to our conscious realm, like a tab opened on our browser. We might not address it directly right away, nor do we necessarily have to, but once we see and we know what is, we have the choice to act on it or not.

Doing nothing is not necessarily true, because the act of presence itself has a few requirements to meet the transformational depth necessary for the processes to continue. Those requirements are as follows:

  • Acceptance: A state of non-judgement to what is, accepting anything which we might find through our exploration.
    • e.g. I feel hunger. I know I will be able to eat later on, so I can release fears attached to it, and don’t need to be angry because of it.
  • Focus: The enduring state of remaining with the flow that is happening, not jumping from one trail to the other.
    • e.g. I look at you while to talk to me. My attention is on what you are communicating, not on my unrelated thoughts or phone.
  • Openness: A state of openness towards any sensations, feelings, or thoughts which may arise in the process.
    • e.g. I’m open to lean something new. I will listen to what you have to say through your framework, as much as I can, being aware of my own biases and detaching from them.

This is what will allow the transformational process to go on by itself, since we work on maintaining this state of presence until it is completed, even if just for a moment.

There are different dimensions into which we can then refine our state of presence which will then influence the way we perceive life on a daily basis, as well as how we act within those new dimensions.

An easy way to experience this is to integrate the idea that everything is connected to everything else. This provides the opening necessary to start reflecting on the patterns that are happening within our lives and the universe at large. Fractals are an example of this, as well as morphic resonance. To facilitate the integration process, a certain degree of self-confidence is necessary since it plays a lot on the feelings, sensations, and intuitions which may arise, and the best person to validate those is ourselves.

This requires great clarity, though allowing the process of clarification itself to happen is a most wonderful step to begin with, and so we are opening our conscious experience to welcoming the transformations that need to happen by opening up the space for them to exist and acknowledged.

As a final note also, the most wonderful gift we can give to another person is simply being present with them when they need a presence, the simple act of being there speaks louder and deeper than the words we can use, the gifts we might give, or the illusion of presence we provide by not being attentive to the moment.

So go out, stay in, be present, and explore the depths ~*~

The Art of Listening

– Hey!

– Hey, you there!!

– Listen to what I have to say!!

– It is important!!

– Hey!!

– I need to say it!!

– Is it my turn to speak now??Talking

      We don’t go around yelling those lines when we want to say something, but oftentimes while listening to others we are simply preparing the next thing we are going to tell them, to answer to what they’re saying. Or not, sometimes we are just waiting for a silence from the speaker to start-off on something we really wanted to tell someone, regardless of what the other person was talking about. And this is good. Sharing, expressing ourselves, speaking up, those are all vital keys to a healthy presence to ourselves. Yet, that is sometimes that is also missing when we only try to get it out, the presence to what the other is saying. We listen to what they say, already thinking of a reply, and when that happens in arguments, no one changes their mind because no one is open to receiving the opinion of the other. Our words bounce of a wall, sent out to the universe, never finding a landing place. This is also true for our emotions, when we share how we feel to someone that has their attention focused elsewhere. Even if it’s their own thoughts, and they seem to be listening to us, not being heard hurts. We can feel when it happens. Being heard is a need that we have, to acknowledge who we are, to make us feel like we matter.

Thus, one of the most beautiful gifts we can give to others is listening to them. Simply. Truly. Not giving them advice, or consoling them if we feel that’s what they need, simple listening. Presence works magic.

It is not an easy feat though. It requires calm and focus, and an ability to discriminate what happens within ourselves, and feel what matters most in a given moment. We need to be present to ourselves. To listen to ourselves first, to be able to listen to others. The way to achieve this is to observe what happens within us while someone else talks.

What thoughts do I hold? How do I feel physically? What emotional state do I find myself in? What do I want?

They are an excellent place to start when we are trying to figure out what we are deeply trying to tell ourselves. The secret is, our body speaks loudly about ourselves, to ourselves, but are we listening to it?

Also, once we are aware of those points, they are easier to let go, and so true listening can happen.

I have just introduced a variety of ideas which are worthy being looked at separately, so there goes;

The Desire to be Heard: It all start there. All our experiences start first and foremost within our own subjective perception, and through that, we experience the world. We feel emotions, we have thoughts and ideas, we want to sing. All those activities are fun in themselves, yet they feel even more real when we can share them with others. Therefore, we all have an innate desire to be heard.

Listening to ourselves: Since we are the only person who will be with us through our whole lives, a good place to start to become a better listener is to listen to ourselves. There are causes behind the thoughts we hold, behind the feelings we feels. But before even getting there, we need to know what we feel, how our bodies react, what that little voice inside is trying to tell us. So take the time (maybe even now) to close your eyes and tune into your body. To feel what is happening inside. To be present to yourself. Without judgement, just to bring awareness. Accepting ourselves as we are unconditionally is a wonderful liberation we all deserve. Give yourself that gift. The truth is, no one else has to know, so why not give it a shot?

Listening to others: Listening to others is very similar to listening to ourselves. The only difference is that we are tuning into the other person. We press mute on our thoughts, on our ideas, and we only listening to what they say and how they feel. Yes, how they feel is a key in listening fully, since a majority of the information being communicated by someone who is talking to us, is done through their bodies. Thus, it is important to listen to how our own bodies react, since we tend to mirror the feelings of those around us. The words being carried by the wind are the surface of the wave, the feelings that are transmitted bring the depth with them. Only when listening to the feelings, can we fully grasp what the other person wants us to hear.

Feelings: I have been using that term quite a bit, and for clarification, I mean both physical and emotional feelings. When we are able to differentiate between our own feelings, and the ones we mirror from the other, then we can truly listen to them, without unconsciously answering to our own needs first.

Boundaries: We are in control of where we give our attention. Thus, keeping an open mind and taking in what the others say is amazing and wonderful, but we have no obligations to accept everything they say as truth. We are allowed to have our own opinions, to make our own choices, and to believe in our own truths. We have to listen to ourselves first. And while it may be considered rude to leave or redirect a conversation that we find boring, it is perfectly within our powers to do so. We are the only ones in control of our attention, nothing is owed to others. Freely given attention is far more nourishing.

      The topics of communication and listening are immensely vast, and so this remains but a small scratch on the surface. Though it is a most useful starting point in creating exchanges that are more nourishing for all parties, satisfying the deep desires we all have in a simple way. The best way to become better at this is practice, and that you can do by yourself, and anytime you interact with someone, regardless of how intimate or not you are with them.

On this note, I shall leave you to practice.

Have fun ~*~